Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor E. Frankl
This quote finds me again and again, weaving through every circumstance, relationship, and choice point in my life like a golden thread. Each time I encounter it, I’m reminded of a profound truth: we have far more power than we realize, nestled quietly in the pause between what happens to us and how we choose to respond.
The Two Paths
Standing in that sacred space, we face two distinct paths. The first is well-worn and familiar—the reactionary highway that leads us straight into “Why is this happening to me?” or “This is a problem that needs to be solved right now.” This path feels automatic, almost gravitational in its pull. It’s the mental equivalent of muscle memory, and it leads us directly into the comfortable trap of victimhood.
The second path requires more of us. It asks us to pause long enough to wonder: “How is this helping me break free of a mental loop I keep getting stuck in?” or “What opening or growth might this be creating for me that I couldn’t orchestrate myself?” This perspective demands we trust something that runs counter to everything our western conditioning has taught us about how the world works.
The difference between these paths isn’t just philosophical—it’s the difference between living as a reactive participant and stepping into our role as conscious co-creators.
The Universe as Collaborator
The first perspective assumes the universe operates like every outer authority we’ve grown up with in the western world: bullying, dominating, and fundamentally opposed to our wellbeing. This viewpoint is easy to adopt because it mirrors what we’ve learned to expect from power structures around us. It requires no growth, no questioning, no uncomfortable expansion of our worldview.
The second perspective asks us to consider something radical: that the universe might actually want to expand and create new experiences, new variations of existence—and that we’re not separate from this creative force, but integral to it. This understanding isn’t developed through intellectual study alone. It emerges through the quest for understanding self, through patient observation of nature’s patterns, through the practice of meditation, or through other varied experiences that quiet the mind’s reactive chatter.
The Fear of Our Own Power
Here’s what I’ve noticed in my work with people navigating life’s most alchemical moments: we can’t be afraid of our power if we want to find it. Yet most of us are terrified of what it might mean to truly claim our ability to choose our response, to shape our experience, to participate consciously in the unfolding of our lives.
This fear keeps us trapped in reactionary patterns that feel safe because they’re predictable. But safety and growth rarely occupy the same space. The universe’s creative force—the same force that moves through us—thrives on the edge between order and chaos, between the known and the unknown.
The Practice: The Sacred Pause
So how do we begin to inhabit this space between stimulus and response? How do we train ourselves to recognize and utilize our power to choose?
The practice is deceptively simple: the sacred pause coupled with conscious questioning.
When you feel that familiar reactive surge—whether it’s irritation, fear, overwhelm, or any other automatic emotional response—try this:
1. Take one deep, slow breath. Not a shallow chest breath, but a breath that reaches down into your belly and anchors you in your body.
2. Ask yourself one question: “What if this moment is asking me to grow in a way I couldn’t choose for myself?”
3. Listen without forcing an answer. Sometimes the question itself is enough to shift your internal landscape.
This isn’t about bypassing genuine emotions or pretending challenges aren’t real. It’s about creating enough space to respond from wisdom rather than react from conditioning.
Perspective as Your Superpower
Perspective is power—perhaps the most accessible form of power we possess. It’s not easy to attain and maintain, especially when life feels overwhelming or when old patterns feel more comfortable than new possibilities. But it’s not impossible either.
Every time you choose to pause and question your brain’s default setting, you’re exercising a muscle that grows stronger with use. You’re participating in the universe’s ongoing experiment in consciousness, in the dance between chaos and harmony that creates all new life.
The Invitation
Power is possible. It’s an experience that wants to be had, that’s seeking expression through you. The question isn’t whether you’re capable of finding it—it’s whether you’re willing to pause long enough to discover it waiting in the space between what happens and how you choose to respond.
In every moment of challenge, every unexpected turn, every situation that triggers your automatic responses, there’s an invitation hidden in plain sight. It’s asking: Will you react from the old patterns, or will you use this moment to expand into something new?
The choice, as always, is yours. And in that choice lies your freedom.
*Kelly Fox is the founder of Weaving The Magick, where she helps people process and integrate the depth of meaning on their journey, especially during critical alchemical moments and life transitions. Through her work, she guides others in discovering their own power to consciously participate in life’s unfolding experiment.*